Director, I’m ready for my closeup.

I think I might need to be followed by a video crew at all times, preferably with a licensed physician on board.

Apparently, I have become a douchebag, someone who could easily be featured in those jackass films(that I’ve never seen), someone who apparently doesn’t think.

Is it rational to blame it on scotch/whiskey/rye?  Apparently rye makes me want to kill everyone and lick things, scotch makes me think it’s a good idea to go snowboarding for the first time ever at 3 A.M when standing is a feat in itself, and whiskey…well whiskey is a bitch.

Well, I had scotch last night. And yes, I went snowboarding for the very first time…sort of. The boots were about 4 or 5 sizes too big, and I was more then half-cut, but yes, I wanted to take the challenge. And I did.
Of course the whole thing pretty much consisted of me whining, freaking out and falling down(at least 4 times down one fairly small hill), and holding on for dear life to someone I had only met maybe 2 days prior, but he still took good care of me. Yay for nice people!

I have a marvelous collection of bruises covering my legs, and my tailbone feels like it’s going to explode. BOOM!

If I had to describe the feeling, I would probably say that it feels like it’s where death comes from.

Would I change a thing? Hell, NO!
I’m actually ready to try snowboarding again. I’d like to say I’m ready right now…but even just sitting down and getting up is fucking hilarious as it is…I don’t want to push it. Haha. And this time, I would go sober…or at least not so fucking wasted.

I had a good teacher, if it weren’t for him, my face would probably have ended up embedded in the hill and would most likely still be there. Or I would have died…either way, right?

And that was only a portion of my idiocy.  I thought it was a good idea to challenge a bouncer(a guy who tackles drunk bitches for a living). I told him I could flip him if he “old dirtied” me.  And “old dirty” is essentially a choke-hold.  Well, I have training in self defense and on a regular basis, I probably would have at least tried to flip him but, he grabbed me in a kitchen…I was not going to flip this guy(or try to flip this guy)over in someone’s kitchen.
So well, let’s just say that I now know what it feels like to be choked unconscious. As fucked as this will make me sound, it was really fucking awesome.  I’ll admit…I was terrified, but because he was my friend I trusted him. Next thing I remember, I was on the floor and things were foggy.  Pretty intense, right? Sure, why not? (Oh, and I didn’t piss myself or vomit!!! Woohoo!! Haha!)

Yeah, I rock. Haha. Ok, maybe not so much.

It’s funny but the only thing I regret is that this was only yesterday. I should have tried this stuff a long time ago(mostly the snowboarding…not so much the passing out on the kitchen floor..oops). I wish I had met these people before.
Oh wait, I do regret one more thing about that night…All my fucking bruises…And the only reason I regret them is because I have to wear a fucking dress tomorrow. A formal New Year’s Eve party at a friend’s place. Oh well, that’s what tights are for. Fuck.